I started to digress a bit during my last post, there’s so much to say, all interconnected, maybe I’ll pull that bit regarding my thoughts on today’s society out and create a whole new blog post on it. It’s integral to the essence of what I’m wanting to convey here and deserves it’s own study.
I haven’t advertised for a couple of weeks, I had enough money and regulars contacting me I was able to get by without, however the wallet is looking a little dry this week, so I put an ad in for tomorrow.
I’ve not been well the last day or so, sick to my stomach and hurling, so I turned down the booking I had today at 4pm, and other requests I received. Hurling on the client is not a good look.
THEN I got a call about 7.30pm from a guy I’ve seen before, and he’s annoying too. Married, demanding with expectations, no perfume or glitter (a legitimate request always respected), being specific about what he wants from me, and is a fullblown cheapskate. He LOOOOOVES my body, like, won’t shut up about it during the act, but doesn’t want to pay for my time.
When I looked at the caller ID, I rolled my eyes but felt well enough to work and I don’t believe in turning work down (unless there’s a direct conflict of my interests by accepting the job, ie, they want things I don’t provide or they are not prepared to pay for), so I answered the call.
After attempting to haggle with me over price for the service he wanted, he then attempted to haggle over the amount of TIME he got to spend with me. Dude, for $50, what the f**k do you expect?
I charge $40 for a blowjob, they get to sit in a big comfy armchair in my room on a soft, clean towel, I usually take my top off and I kneel in front of them, do the deed and send them out the door ten minutes later at the most with their knees still weak. In fact, that’s one of my sales pitches lol.
My next cheapest rate is my $60 quickie special. That’s where I use my awesome sales pitch. When I get asked what that entails, I usually say that “you get sucked and f**ked, and sent out the door with your legs still wobbling”. If they’re genuine, then nine times out of ten that cracks them right up and they book immediately. I will give them up to twenty minutes of my time for that $60 if they take that long, but they’re usually gone in ten, smiling and happy.
So, this cheapskate wants a “handjob” because he doesn’t like condoms (lol) and to touch and mouth me all over. Now for me, that’s the same as a full sex job workwise. I’m still putting in the same amount of effort, energy and acting skills as doing full sex. I still have to put up with invasive fingers that have pretty much no talent and I still have to touch their body. We established last time I would do it for $50, which I wasn’t happy about, but allowed by telling myself it wasn’t “full sex” and I’m getting more than I would for a handjob or blowjob, so it’s all good. But he’s hard work, likes to talk dirty, which turns me cold unless I’m into it (never now I’m not on drugs) and kept going on about how much time we’d been going for, which made it streeeeeeetttccccchhhh for me, of course.
After fifteen minutes, I finally managed to get him to blow, (so I thought, there was an explosion of come after all), but my back had given out. I was holding myself at an awkward angle over him so I could do the handjob, wanted him gone. Especially as he’d tried to start touching me before he’d paid, reminding me of why I didn’t like him the first time (yuck, over and out of my house, Buddy).
Then my phone starts going nuts as well, both my landline and my mobile, real mood killer (must remember to take it off the hook lol), so by then, I was over it and chucked him some wipes and tissues, started getting dressed while he tried to stretch it out even more, lying back and talking shit to me.
Then he tells me that he didn’t orgasm, and asks if under those circumstances, do I give the money back?
WHAT. THE ACTUAL. F**K??!!
Needless to say, he won’t be coming back, (especially since he once turned up here without a booking, what an idiot,) too stressful for the $50. To be fair, I’m already pretty over making money this way. It was necessary when I first went back to the profession, but surely I can find something more stable now the new year is well in? F**k this shit, seriously.
I said to him, “well, you still got to touch me, and spend time with me, and I’m thinking of quitting again and that shit is part of the reason why.”
He apologised profusely and kissed my arse, telling me of course I do a good job and deserve to be paid (or some shit like that, I actually stopped listening) then I shunted him out the door.
Thank you Universe, I appreciate all the financial assistance sent my way, I truly do.
I don’t mean to be ungrateful, really I don’t, and I shouldn’t rag on my clients, since without them, I wouldn’t have a job, but holy crapola!!!!
I never used to be this jaded about men. I used to believe that if a guy said he loves you when he’s in your bed, he meant it. I used to believe in monogamy. I used to believe in fairy tales, right up until about seven or eight years ago.
Yep, I’m really glad I woke up, because men can no longer hurt me like that. It was actually freeing because I used to be so insecure and needy, that I’d “fall in love” with every f**k I had, then get messed in the head when it turned out it was just a f**k. Once I learned that “bedroom talk” is called that for a reason, life got a whole lot less dramatic and unhappy for me, it was great.
However, it seems to have gone further than that now. So. Freaking. Jaded.
Maybe that’s because now I have a man that’s the love of my life, I can’t stand having men I don’t love touching me? Makes sense to me.
But, that’s a story for another time.
Ciao for now.