Off On A Tangent

I started to digress a bit during my last post, there’s so much to say, all interconnected, maybe I’ll pull that bit regarding my thoughts on today’s society out and create a whole new blog post on it. It’s integral to the essence of what I’m wanting to convey here and deserves it’s own study.

I haven’t advertised for a couple of weeks, I had enough money and regulars contacting me I was able to get by without, however the wallet is looking a little dry this week, so I put an ad in for tomorrow.

I’ve not been well the last day or so, sick to my stomach and hurling, so I turned down the booking I had today at 4pm, and other requests I received. Hurling on the client is not a good look.

THEN I got a call about 7.30pm from a guy I’ve seen before, and he’s annoying too. Married, demanding with expectations, no perfume or glitter (a legitimate request always respected), being specific about what he wants from me, and is a fullblown cheapskate. He LOOOOOVES my body, like, won’t shut up about it during the act, but doesn’t want to pay for my time.

When I looked at the caller ID, I rolled my eyes but felt well enough to work and I don’t believe in turning work down (unless there’s a direct conflict of my interests by accepting the job, ie, they want things I don’t provide or they are not prepared to pay for), so I answered the call.

After attempting to haggle with me over price for the service he wanted, he then attempted to haggle over the amount of TIME he got to spend with me. Dude, for $50, what the f**k do you expect?

I charge $40 for a blowjob, they get to sit in a big comfy armchair in my room on a soft, clean towel, I usually take my top off and I kneel in front of them, do the deed and send them out the door ten minutes later at the most with their knees still weak. In fact, that’s one of my sales pitches lol.

My next cheapest rate is my $60 quickie special. That’s where I use my awesome sales pitch. When I get asked what that entails, I usually say that “you get sucked and f**ked, and sent out the door with your legs still wobbling”. If they’re genuine, then nine times out of ten that cracks them right up and they book immediately. I will give them up to twenty minutes of my time for that $60 if they take that long, but they’re usually gone in ten, smiling and happy.

So, this cheapskate wants a “handjob” because he doesn’t like condoms (lol) and to touch and mouth me all over. Now for me, that’s the same as a full sex job workwise. I’m still putting in the same amount of effort, energy and acting skills as doing full sex. I still have to put up with invasive fingers that have pretty much no talent and I still have to touch their body. We established last time I would do it for $50, which I wasn’t happy about, but allowed by telling myself it wasn’t “full sex” and I’m getting more than I would for a handjob or blowjob, so it’s all good. But he’s hard work, likes to talk dirty, which turns me cold unless I’m into it (never now I’m not on drugs) and kept going on about how much time we’d been going for, which made it streeeeeeetttccccchhhh for me, of course.

After fifteen minutes, I finally managed to get him to blow, (so I thought, there was an explosion of come after all), but my back had given out. I was holding myself at an awkward angle over him so I could do the handjob, wanted him gone. Especially as he’d tried to start touching me before he’d paid, reminding me of why I didn’t like him the first time (yuck, over and out of my house, Buddy).

Then my phone starts going nuts as well, both my landline and my mobile, real mood killer (must remember to take it off the hook lol), so by then, I was over it and chucked him some wipes and tissues, started getting dressed while he tried to stretch it out even more, lying back and talking shit to me.

Then he tells me that he didn’t orgasm, and asks if under those circumstances, do I give the money back?

WHAT. THE ACTUAL. F**K??!!

Needless to say, he won’t be coming back, (especially since he once turned up here without a booking, what an idiot,) too stressful for the $50. To be fair, I’m already pretty over making money this way. It was necessary when I first went back to the profession, but surely I can find something more stable now the new year is well in? F**k this shit, seriously.

I said to him, “well, you still got to touch me, and spend time with me, and I’m thinking of quitting again and that shit is part of the reason why.”

He apologised profusely and kissed my arse, telling me of course I do a good job and deserve to be paid (or some shit like that, I actually stopped listening) then I shunted him out the door.

Thank you Universe, I appreciate all the financial assistance sent my way, I truly do.

I don’t mean to be ungrateful, really I don’t, and I shouldn’t rag on my clients, since without them, I wouldn’t have a job, but holy crapola!!!!

I never used to be this jaded about men. I used to believe that if a guy said he loves you when he’s in your bed, he meant it. I used to believe in monogamy. I used to believe in fairy tales, right up until about seven or eight years ago.

Yep, I’m really glad I woke up, because men can no longer hurt me like that. It was actually freeing because I used to be so insecure and needy, that I’d “fall in love” with every f**k I had, then get messed in the head when it turned out it was just a f**k. Once I learned that “bedroom talk” is called that for a reason, life got a whole lot less dramatic and unhappy for me, it was great.

However, it seems to have gone further than that now. So. Freaking. Jaded.

Maybe that’s because now I have a man that’s the love of my life, I can’t stand having men I don’t love touching me? Makes sense to me.

But, that’s a story for another time.

Ciao for now.

Missy X

How To Become A Forty Year Old Hooker

I guess the best place to start is now and fill in the back story as I go.

Today, some dirty bastard pulled the condom off and blew inside me and I didn’t realise until after he had left.

How’s that for an opening sentence??!! Grab ya?

I wish it were fiction. I just spent all the cash in my wallet getting the morning after pill from the chemist, (plus some other things I needed), since I’m not on other contraceptives, and I’m pretty f**king pissed about it to be honest. Not to mention repulsed beyond description.

I just had a full check up on Friday too!!!! I’m so outraged, I was clean as a whistle, of course, and now I not only feel revolting, I’ve been “contaminated” with a stranger’s internal juices. Oh my f**king God, that’s soooooo disgusting!

Out of the measly $60 I received for servicing that creep, I had to pay $40 of it for emergency contraceptive and there’s pretty much nothing I can do about it.

Yep, that’s cool man, I’m stoked.

So, how did I end up in this predicament?

Quite simply, last year took the trophy for “Worst Year Ever” in my life, and I’ve had some pretty shitty years along the way. This trophy was previously held by 2000, where I had a relationship end, found out I had cancer and a few other messed up things which I forget at this moment in time, but obviously pale in comparison to 2016. Good old 2016 involved actual hunger and distress on a primal level, not just mental and emotional trauma.

I lost my job May last year, got another one quite rapidly and was getting on top on things, then I discovered my new employers were actually abusive arseholes so I walked on them, thinking I’d get another job no problem. After all, I’ve always been one of those people that nails job interviews, I’ve had two interviews ever where I haven’t gotten the job, so I was pretty confident.

Well, four months and 130 job applications later, not one more interview, Christmas was coming up and boy, was I regretting my stuck up response to being employed by a bitch. If I had known that I would still be unemployed and hungry by November, I totally would have put up with her shit!

Anyway, by this time, I had actually reached nervous breakdown stage, as although I was receiving the Solo Parent Allowance, I had expenses created from before I was receiving the allowance that I wasn’t eligible for extra help with, a hire purchase agreement that needed $40 per week, a car on credit which I pay $92 a week for and I was dealing with a psychotic control freak at the power company who refused to lower my power payments below $90 a week with the threat that if I didn’t pay the full amount every week, she would have my power disconnected the day after my payday.

She was cool too, I really liked her, I always felt so happy after we spoke…

As I was saying, my expenses were out of control when compared to my income, the result being, if I paid all my bills, I had $25 per week left from my allowance to purchase food, petrol and any other expenses that I needed to cover throughout the week. Needless to say, I skipped heaps to create food money, I ended up in the shit, sad story, blah blah blah.

A self-created mess, totally owned and acknowledged by me, but a mess it was and I was getting backed further and further into a corner. I hardly remember what I did with myself I was so miserable. I recall just lying in bed in the dark the whole time, but I must have done other things, as I also remember doing everything I could to generate cash without reverting to being a hooker.

The fact I was even considering it was messing with my head. I went through hell after I quit last time. Losing all that disposable income and the party life all for the sake of being a good example to my little girl cost me my comfortable life, party times and self esteem too, as I lost a lot of “friends” along the way, which got to me with the psychological issues I was suffering at the time. Plus, I was terrified that going back to the game would lead me straight back to the drugs, and I’m done with that mental world.

Don’t get me wrong, I still like to party, occasionally, but hooking means disposable income, which means it’s nothing to party, plus… “I need my drugs to handle the hooking”. I was terrified of “needing” A Class substances and going back to being lost in that world. I was never into downers and needles and I wasn’t the worst kind of junkie, but a junkie I pretty much ended up by the time I walked away from it all. Loved my meth, yummy, yummy. Bad for my brain though, I’m STILL in physical recovery from all my binges, I’ve done so much damage. I’m still not sure if it was worth it…

So, when a few things happened that led me to the realisation I could go back on the game and successfully stay off the A Class, it gave me a kind of freedom. The food parcels from the mission and 0800 Hungry were good, but not enough, my bills had all gone to different collection agencies and my sanity seemed to have run for the hills. Suddenly, it no longer mattered that I was “going backward”, we had full tummies! I could pay my bills! I had PETROL in my car!! I didn’t feel like my life was OVER ANYMORE!!!! Wow, it was fantastic.

My daughter even got Christmas presents! It was pretty cool actually (not being sarcastic this time) and since then it’s been all up with a couple of plateaus here and there. I even have my car repaired and road legal again, which cost me $500, so I’ve definitely moved forward since starting in late November.

There’s lot more detail obviously, but you get the picture. Desperate mum can’t feed her family anymore so goes on the game to survive.

And here I am!

Back to today’s disgust with what I put up with for my money. I so totally do not charge enough!

Now I’ve vented, I’m empty and can think of nothing to add, so I will post this as it is. I’m sure more will come to me and I really hope you enjoy the read.

Signed

Missy X